2008- A Fresh Start.

Today, I have realized. It will be a new beginning for me as I move next weekend. It was my last day of work, after two years. Shock came over me. "The time has come..?". I am ready I think but I am also hoping I can handle everything from now on. I have always been so excited to finally leave and be on my own, FREEDOM!. Now, I have it.. and i am terrified. I think I will be okay though. Once, things start falling into place. I'll be happy. Luckily, I am still close to my hometown. So, at any time, when I feel "homesick" I can head back for a few days. I know, i'll have some of those days. I never liked my hometown. I always hoped to leave sooner or later.
Life=confusing..

Love and Hate

Okay, the term relationship i am over with. I have come to the point where I am utterly terrified of it. That word makes me shiver. Why? as i've read in horoscopes. Me, being an Aquarius. I am a "relationship" person. But, I can't seem to be held up in one for very long. I also am a caring, emotional, sensitive type. Which is not a crime? I don't think anyways. I am starting to love the single life more then ever now. Not cause i'd rather be single and roam the adventures of what it has for me. But, having to be alone. I do know that someday someone will come along. But that day seems so far away and I really want to see who he is, NOW!. To all who can relate to me, and know what I am talking about. Let me give you a piece of advice that I think all us should know. It's not what you don't have, it's what they don't see. I know a lot of people can relate to what I am talking about here. Love is but a mystery, that is very hard to unlock. I may not be loved by that special someone right at this very moment, but I am loved by family and friends. That love is real. So, hello to you single people. When you think your life is at it's very last part. Don't think that. Realize that maybe it's a sign leading you the right way to that special someone. Life does throw punches. Take the swing. We are all but still young, and love shouldn't be the biggest problem. Keep your mind open, do other things. HAVE FUN!
I should really be doing that myself.. I always seem to be stuck inside most of the time, or working lol. Anyways.. forget about that last part I said.. When that guy/girl comes around. You will know.

An Actual Post

This is actually going to be a real writing. Not like the ones down below. A way of expressing my feelings at the moment I guess. My emotions are mixed right now. This is an ending to a year but a beginning to a new one, with a new start. Moving.. a word I never thought of until now. A new place, with new people.. new everything. I'm happy, sad, excited, scared.. Normal I guess?
I won't be too far away from home but it's still a new experience for me. I already know some amazing people who I can't wait to spend time with and get to know each and every one of them a bit better. I am hoping that my new experiences turn out to be good ones and not bad. Life is like a surprise though, you never know what is going to happen. But, I am willing to find out. I do have the courage.
To the ending of this year, I hope the new year is one I won't regret. Since this year.. hasn't been a good one at all, accept the fact for me graduating high school. THANK GOD!
But anyways, as the next days start to pass im getting more anxious to see what the outcomes are going to be. I'll see what happens..

The Facts

Just for one day
Can you look the other way
Decide upon what is good and what is wrong
Listen to yourself
Make a new conculsion
Feel someone who isn't as good as you
See outside of the box
Pretend that you weren't yourself for one night
Can you realize that it's not all looks my dear
Girls have more to offer
Can't you see that?
I guess not.
Imagine you being in her shoes
Seeing her cry, to make you see how much she loves you
Fixing how she looks so you would only keep you eye on her and only her
She loves you, don't you see?
Why would she give up everything important to her
Just for you
It's because of the love
Her bones are aching, her fingers are shaking
Do you know why?
No? NO! NO!
Just imagine you in her shoes
The worries of you leaving her, finding someone more greater, beautiful
This could be true?
That's what shes afraid of hun
Realize..You have a girl, that..
You may never get ever again
She really loves you
That love is the best factor!
Nothing more
Not the looks, Not the body
But her, and the love she gives you
The hugs she needs from you
The trust of having you
The lust of you against her
Why give that up!
Stop boy
Now look at you
What are you?
Nothing..Don't you wish you weren't foolish..

This Is Not Easy..

The time can be good for the moment
but that's only a wish
You have those precious times with that one you love
but this isn't easy..
What can I do then to just be alone
I caused you that trouble
I had to fade away
My affection, my kindness
Thrown all away
This isnt easy, I say..
So, I sit here, thinking deeply
Of this terrible pain inside
Knowing that I did wrong
And this is how i am paid
I guess I can't do anything now
Your mind has made the decision
She couldn't change that
In fact, you said these times have gone and it will never be the same
Yes, i do cry alittle inside
I have to fight this by myself
I just never knew the troubles I made
For being everything I could to you
If I have to let the good one go, Then I guess thats all i have to say
I can't do anything more, i've tried the hardest i possibly can
But baby, you just can't see this
So, ill sit here all alone..

The Heart Breaks

As the days continue to pass
I have his face on my mind
He may not be here,
I may not be there
But the way we care
Is all that matters in the end
When we do make the time
To see one another
I never want that time to end
That's his effect on me
I love my baby
But, there are those times
I have to think
Of what I need for me
I have the fear
Of what other boys have done
To leave and never come back
Is it right this time?
I can't think this way though
A girl needs to take her chances
It could turn the way I want
Or possibly
Break me like the ones before
But, i'll be strong
That's what this love is about
Wondering of what life has for two different individuals
It's a chance you have to take.

Alittle Bit Of An Opinion Expressed

Nothing feels right in this world
Lost in the moments that flash me by
I'm sorry, this is the time of change.
What to say now
It's time to make it right.
A million tears can fall from my face.But, won't stop the years of abuse
Losing control of what I thought was real
I'm not worth the sacrife
Sorry to say this in such a use of fragile words
And im sorry but i've wasted my life here
Here is a goodbye to you
I'm not worth it anymore
I love you was the last thing you said to me
Today, that all has changed
Driving down the road alone, miles away from you now
I try to run from your bright smile, erase you from my memory
You never loved me the way I thought you did.
I hope you realize what a mistake you have made
Count the ways you will never have me again
I'm not around anymore, I can't be You never loved me the way I thought you did.
Break me into a million pieces, shatter what is left of me
My emotions have no feeling, my heart has stopped beating
A person I knew so well, changed right infront of my eye
I had to run away
Going down this lonesome road, seeking a new beginning
Reaching out to start it all over.
The rain starts to pour, as I cry alone
You never loved me the way I thought you did.
I hope you feel the way I do now
Count the ways you made a big mistake
I'm going to be fine, I know I will beI'll pick up again, I'll go threw the fight
You never loved me the way I thought you did...