ARG

Looking for someone I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO over it. Guys, waste of my time. None, every change my mind. All, prove to make what I think of them true. Hate, being used and having my emotions be mixed around with every damn time. NO MORE!!!

Mario- let me love you ( MY VERSION OF THE SONG)


[[VERSE 1:]]
Baby, you just don’t get it
Do you enjoy making me hurt?
the smell of her perfume, the make up on your shirt
I don’t believe your stories
i know that they are lies
bad as you are, you stick around and i just don’t know why

if i was your girl (baby you’d)
worry me again (what you’d do)
i’d be coming back (next to you)
every night, wondering why
you were the type of guy (who did good things)
fistful of anger (handful of pain)
baby you’re a coward ( i just want to show you, you are)

[[CHORUS:]]
you should let me leave you
let me be the one to leave everything behind and leave you wanting me
oh baby it was good love and protection
but you have made your selection
i showed you the way love’s suppose to be
but baby you should just let me leave you, leave you, leave you, leave you.. yeah

[[VERSE 2:]]

listen
you’re everything i wanted, you looked so good that it hurts
we were amazing and it’s a shame
don’t even know what your missing
everywhere i go i stop and stare
cause you’re bad and it shows
from your head to your toes, your out of control, baby you know

if i was your girl (baby you’d)
worry me again (what you’d do)
i’d be coming back (next to you)
every night, wondering why
you were the type of guy (who did good things)
fistful of anger (handful of pain)
baby you’re a coward ( i just want to show you, you are)

[[CHORUS:]]
you should let me leave you
let me be the one to leave everything behind and leave you wanting me
oh baby it was good love and protection
but you have made your selection
i showed you the way love’s suppose to be
baby you should let me..

[[BRIDGE:]]
i deserve better boy ( i know i deserve better)
we could of been together boy
with me and you its whatever now
so can we just end things now?

[[CHORUS:]]
you should let me leave you
let me be the one to leave everything behind and leave you wanting me
oh baby it was good love and protection
but you have made your selection
i showed you the way love’s suppose to be
but baby you should just let me leave you, leave you, leave you..

-repeat till it ends (3 times)-

[Me(talking):]
Let me leave you.. that’s what you wanted babe..

When I Think You Mean It This Time

If I leave, you wouldn’t watch me go. You wouldn’t show up at an airport and watch me board and say goodbye. If you held my hand, you would just let go, insecure of what to do next. If you wanted me to stay, you’d let go right away. Too scared to let me in, emotions would take over again, you’d find another and all of what you said, would be a lie. If I drove you crazy, i’d still be able to make you that way, if you lost your mind, you wouldn’t be able to think straight, making the worst outcomes, you seem sane to me. If you wanted me back and I did, you would end up leaving like you always did, giving me another lame excuse, saying you aren’t ready this time. If you think of me, it’s a waste, because that thought should be consistent and not once in awhile. If you were beside me, you’d look in my eyes and wonder what you were doing there. If you let me go, you’d not be believing in yourself, you’d be giving up yet again, having insecurites take the best of you. If you truely changed, I would love to believe you, but I don’t, i’ve tried to so many times. All this a reality, and when I think you mean it this time, you show my thoughts were right all along..

Goodbye..

Why, oh why
Do I have to say goodbye
Just dance with you baby one more time
Why, oh why
Do I have to say goodbye
Just tell me baby, one more time

I thought you were different, maybe I was blind
I felt incredible, baby that was a lie
I don't know what I did
I thought I had it right this time
What is the secret, I will never know

Singing
Why, oh why
Do I have to say goodbye
Just dance with you baby, one more time
Why, oh why
Do I have to say goodbye
Just tell me baby, one more time

Safe in your arms, it felt so right
Under the stars we were, looking upon my smile
Oh baby, what went wrong
What happened this time
I'll never know..

Why, oh why
Baby tell me why
I loved you baby, one last time
Why, oh why
Does this have to end this time
Tell me baby, one last time..

Those Times..

There are going to be times where you will feel like an outsider to the world
Where time stands still and you aren't sure what will happen next
There are going to be those good and bad times
The moments you won't forget adn the ones you would want to erase from your memory
Each moment in life does make a purpose
It shows what you have done wrong and right
So, instead of taking each bad moment as bad, realize the good outcome.
The good moments however, realize that those moments help you be the person you are
Look upon your present, not the past. The past was the beginning steps. The future will be new steps to take, and the now is the time to see what will happen, good or bad.
Some things can't be explained even though you wish it could be
They are kept unknown for our own good, even if it bugs you completely
With life, comes the people, moments and time

Untitled

You don't hurt me!
You won't hear me scream the anger
If I could only be okay now
If I only could
Be strong, see how deep the cut has gone threw the flesh of me
So much hate towards you
Tell me I matter
You and me will be unhappy
All because of your stupidity
Of what was infront of your face
Not listening to your heart
Your gonna hate her
And realize I was the prize lost
When you haer my name, sooner or later
Your gonna come to tears, dear
I know someone will realize what
You didn't..

Storm

Laying in bed as quiet as a mouse
Living in my tiny house
My window shakes rapidly
The wind whistling, hitting it happily
A chill running up my spine
I hope everything will be fine
Another thud hits the side
As the wind starts to ride
This doesn't seem like any other day
This wind is having it's way
Sturring trouble quickly
Breaking buildings swiftly
A Storm! A Storm!
I must run for some sort of safety
This is all way to crazy
I hope everything will be okay..

So Cruel

She peers into the mirror
To look at her broken reflection
Wonder about her non-perfection?
And say to herself, why am I filled with so much terror
She cries herself to sleep at times
Thinking about her flaws in life
Dreaming of the slicing of a knife
How she's all alone, what an innocent smile
If only for once, this girl knew
How to fight the cruel world
If only she had the power, she could
If only she wasn't so blue
Not everything can be right
Or happy as we wish it to be
But all she can see
Is the cruelty she must fight
Until one day this all will come to an end
And never happen once again

Gimme More?

Well.. well.. seems like drama always has to be a part of my life. Some people don't know the term "life". Maturity doesn't seem to cross their minds. It's been about a year now that I haven't talked to a few x best friends of mine, best friends I thought.. It is true that your friends can turn into your worst enemies. I am glad to say, im happier, and i've grown up. I say thank you to them. I can handle problems more strongly. I never was the person to approach confrontation well. But, life will have problems, I get over each and every one of them. I am happy, even though I may honestly not be. Right now.. things keep changing. Being 19, I still have a lot to learn. Can't wait. So as Pat Benatar would say " Hit Me With Your Best Shot!" :)

Update

Exactly one month ago I was pretty excited to be moving, now that i've been here for awhile. I'm not happy still. The school portion of my life i'm highly enjoying. The classmates are a bunch of interesting individuals, definitely a better school life then my high school years. College life is good, for the school anyways. The people however out of school.. reminds me of the ones back home. At the beginning days of living here I was really happy. I was hanging with people everyday basically. Nowadays, im usually alone in my dorm, either upset or feeling withdrawn from others because of "how I am". I thought i'd have a change compared to my hometown, but, im yet again wrong. What im thinking now is just do stuff for myself. I still have a lot of my life to go threw. I have hit a bad point right now but things will turn around again. I would still like to meet some new people here. Haven't really. I just keep falling down. I hate that feeling. I'm sick of crying and blaming myself for every bad thing that happens in life. I know it's not true but my past has destroyed me.